THE OFFICIAL PARTY BULLETIN
THIS JUST IN: YOU’RE EXPECTED TO SHOW UP FABULOUS.
Dress code:
Reporting live:
Her last nerve is gone. Her party era has begun. Be there.
BREAKING NEWS
SHE’S HAD ENOUGH
Her last nerve has left the building.
Scroll down for the full report
DEVELOPING
THE ANCHOR:
SOURCES SAY:
The patience report
PATIENCE REMAINING1%
HER LAST NERVE HAS LEFT THE BUILDING.
INVESTIGATIVE UNIT
The Last Nerve Simulator
THE ANCHOR: “To understand the situation, our team has rebuilt an ordinary day. Viewer discretion is advised.”
PATIENCE REMAINING1%
OFFICIAL FINDING: PATIENCE CRITICAL
The simulation is complete. Our witnesses are standing by: keep scrolling.
ON THE SCENE
Live witness interviews
THE ANCHOR: “We have reached several witnesses. Tap a witness to hear their statement.”
URGENT UPDATE
The anchor is being handed a note
THE ANCHOR:
DEVELOPING STORY
SHE’S NOT HAVING A BREAKDOWN. SHE’S HAVING A BIRTHDAY PARTY!
HER LAST NERVE IS GONE. HER PARTY ERA HAS BEGUN.
Event details
RSVP
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